Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
