:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
