hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
