Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
