she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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