seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
