No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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