U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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