Tell her she can't have a vagina
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
