fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
