It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
