So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize