I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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