pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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