We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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