if you like me you must not know who I am
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
