why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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