Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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