IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
