I heard we made out
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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