I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is Oprah even human
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize