I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
