You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you made out with another girl for some wings
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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