I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
