Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
