This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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