sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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