Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
