those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize