After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
