if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
