Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
