At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
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I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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