At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
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i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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