My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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