she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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