I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
