I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
