He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
