dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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