Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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