Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
