im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
