Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
try to milk me bitch
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