My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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