I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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