I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
