I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize