But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize