His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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