is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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