The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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