Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
