Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
