I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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