Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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