Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
wow bdsm is so cute
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
