You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
