she woke up with a sticky ear
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
