wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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