you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
