I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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